Desperation
by TheWammy'sHouseReject
Summary: A single moment of desperation changes Integra's life forever. Now she is a vampire, and must deal with all the emotions she's been holding back. Sadness, loneliness, and...love? AlucardxIntegra
1. Chapter 1

**Yay for rabid plot bunnies ^.^ I was just thinking, 'wouldn't it be cool if Alucard bit Integra?' then POOF, this baby appeared. Enjoy.**

**Roses are red**

**Violets are blue**

**I don't own Hellsing**

**So you cannot sue**

It didn't start out as a problem.

All Integra did was go onto the balcony of Hellsing manor. Nothing dangerous. But, somehow, she had fallen off the edge, falling through trees before crashing onto the ground.

And then it became a problem.

Walter had panicked, frantically waking Alucard, telling him it was an emergency. Alucard seemed more than a little irritated at first, but the moment he saw the broken body of his master, blood splattered everywhere, his face immediately changed into one of fear. A look that Walter had never seen before. It was just so unlike him to worry. To feel fear. Those were emotions reserved for lesser men, not the king of the vampires.

The fear, however, was short lived. Alucard walked over to Integra, got onto his knees, and shook her. She was pale. Her skin was going cold. She barely had the strength to moan.

"I'll call an ambulance," Walter said.

"No, we don't have that kind of time!" Alucard shouted.

Integra looked at her faithful servant with clouded eyes. Alucard slapped her gently to keep her awake.

"Sir Integra," he said, in that deep, powerful voice of his. "Would you prefer to die as a human or live as a vampire?"

In any other circumstance, Integra would have said no, then slapped him and call him an asshole for suggesting such a thing. But she was weak, her mind was hazy…and, for all her confidence and bravado, she didn't want to die.

"…Live…" she managed to choke out.

"As you wish, my master."

Alucard brought his lips up to her neck, opened his mouth, and sunk his teeth into her soft skin.

Her blood was just as good as he remembered, from all those years ago, and despite the situation, he closed his eyes in rapture at the wondrous taste of her blood.

XxXx

Integra's head throbbed as she awoke, her throat was sandpaper.

_What just happened? _She thought.

Alucard smirked at her, sitting down on the end of her bed.

"So, sir Integra," he said, as calmly as if he were discussing the weather, "How does it feel to be undead?"

And now it was a _very _big problem.

Roses are red

**Violets are blue**

**I know you'll be nice**

**And leave a review!**

**^.^**


	2. Chapter 2

"…Undead?"

Integra was rapidly becoming pissed off. Alucard took a step backward, raising his hands up in the air defensively.

"You gave me permission, Sir Integra," he said innocently. "I only did as you requested."

Integra pondered on this for a moment, then threw her pillow at Alucard, which caught him off guard and hit him in the face.

Seras cocked her head.

"Master, what's going on?" she asked.

"None of your business at the moment, Police Girl," Alucard said sharply. "You and Walter can leave now."

They left.

Integra looked at her hands. They didn't look any different. She didn't _feel _any different.

"It's strange, isn't it?" Alucard said, in a far-off tone. "To know that you are now one of the undead, a No-Life. It can be confusing."

Integra growled.

"What the _hell _is _that _supposed to mean?" Integra snapped.

"I felt the same way when I discovered…what I had become."

The look on Alucard's face was almost one of regret.

Integra huffed.

"This is all so strange," she said, almost to herself. "It's sort of…"

"Frightening?" Alucard offered.

"Don't finish my sentences."

"I'm sorry, Master."

"Don't act so damn modest. It's unnerving."

Alucard smirked, if only to please her.

He could tell she was confused- fledgling vampires always were. Seras was the same way at first…sort of. She'd merely been puzzled-Integra was downright horrified. She probably didn't have much recollection of her agreement to become a vampire, but that didn't matter. She was a vampire now, and that was what frightened her.

Integra bit down on her knuckle nervously. She had become…a _vampire._ She had become one of the creatures she had sworn to destroy. She had become the thing she hated. She drew her knees up to her chin and hugged them.

Her father would be disgusted. She was a disgrace to the Hellsing name. She'd been careless. She'd been a coward.

And now, she wasn't even human.

"_How does it feel to be undead?"_

Integra had merely been amused when he used those words on Seras, but now she could see why the girl had been so horrified. Why wouldn't she be?

She felt like a little girl again, quivering with fear. She also felt disgusted. Disgusted in what she had become.

A…

…Monster…


	3. Chapter 3

Integra stood outside, the cool night air blowing across her face. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Is something wrong, Master?"

"Alucard."

"I'm sorry if I offended you. I was just curious. That's not a crime, is it?"

"…What is it like? Living forever, I mean."

"Hmm, let me think," Alucard said. "Boring, I would say."

Integra looked up at him, then looked away.

She'd known he was handsome before, but this…this went beyond merely handsome or good-looking. The way he looked at her…that sexy, seductive smirk…his voice was smooth as velvet, each word deep, low, and beautiful. Why hadn't she noticed _that _before? He was more than just a good-looking guy. He was practically sex incarnate.

"Do you like what you see, Master?" he asked playfully. Was he propositioning her?

Integra almost snapped at him, telling the bloodsucker to shut up. But, instead, she looked away, biting her lip.

"I…"

"Master?"

He put a hand on her shoulder. It felt as if it were sending little jolts of electricity through her.

"It gets better, trust me. You get used to it eventually."

"Get used to _what, _exactly?"

"Knowing that you walk among the damned…that you are cursed to live forever."

"Why the hell did you bite me if you felt that way about being undead?"

Alucard scowled, removing his hand.

"Did you ever consider the fact that I didn't want to lose you?" he asked. Integra jumped a little.

"You…what?"

"You heard me, Master. I couldn't let you go. I couldn't bear to see you die."

"Alucard…"

He stared her down with his deep red eyes, piercing straight down to her soul. Integra almost became lost just looking at them.

Alucard grabbed her shoulders, pulled her in, and held her close.

"What the hell are you-"

Alucard was trembling.

**Review, please!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Alucard…"

His grip tightened around Integra's waist.

"You were the first person to give my life a purpose in a very long time, sir Integra."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Integra snapped. "Let me go!"

"If something were to happen to you…if you were to die…I would never be able to live with myself."

Integra ceased struggling against him.

"I guess you wouldn't know what it feels like…to be alone…"

"I know damn well what that feels like!"

Integra grabbed a handful of Alucard's jacket, her hand trembling.

"I know what it feels like…"

A distant father…a vanished mother…yes, she knew what it felt like all too well. To feel the crushing weight of being alone. She'd never had any friends…it got pretty lonely in that big manor with no one to talk to.

Alucard lifted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes.

Integra had never seen a man look so broken. Gone was all his bluster and bravado. That wicked smile and unfeeling eyes. He fixed her with a warm gaze, almost…inviting. He looked sad, desperation etched onto his features.

_Get a hold of yourself, woman! _Integra shouted at herself. _He's still Alucard. It doesn't matter **how **different he's acting._

"That is the price we pay to be immortal," Alucard said. "Everything we know and everyone we love are transient, and fragile. We may break them by mistake, or else they pass away like dust in the wind. All the while, we remain forever unchanged."

He trailed his fingers across her cheek.

"I had come to accept that fate, but…I knew that if I lost you, I would never be able to bear it."

He drew in closer to her. Their lips were not even an inch apart.

"I…love you, Master Integra."

With those words, he kissed her.

**YAY! I loved writing this chapter. OOC Alucard is serious business, people XD Anyone who doesn t review will have Alucard come to **

**their house and rape them XD**


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